lördag 24 februari 2007
I have had this nightmares a few nights in a row now, and they are so wierd, it´s like everyday happenings turning to nightmares. Friends leaving me, friends acting strange...and it´s all friends I spend time with, I mean it´s real persons. They say your dreams clear your head, ehhe, ok, what does all this mean then?
I also realized a strange feeling this morning while trying to get out of bed and it´s that I can count the persons I let in to my life, I mean the persons that really got to know me and they are not more than 20 in total. That would mean that in 24 years I let 20 people get to know me? Sound so little, sound so bad, sounds so egocentric. I wont say any name, don´t want anyone to be hurt, but I think the ones reaching my soul know how they are. 20...makes me sad thinking about it. Is it me that have such a closed personality? Or is it just that I haven´t met the right people for my world? Maybe it´s my subconsciente that doesn´t want me to stay at one place longer than a few months, maybe it´s the subconsciente world ruling my body and my mind?