To know your friends are sad is a horrible thing and sometimes it´s hard to find the right words to comfort. After being thinking 2 days about it I know there´s nothing I can say to heal, I can talk, listen and discuss but the rights words...even I am searching for them.
I believe we will never find an answer to the question if we made the wrong or right choices in life. I believe and I hope, doubting is a good sign that you want to take care of yourself; better said, you only what the best for yourself, of course there´s doubting but you also have to think that life is simple and that the person makes it hard, at the same time that you don´t always have to do the right thing, it´s better to think like me; the things I don´t die of are new experiences.
I was sad a few days ago and my friend told me that his mission was to make me happy and firstprice was to see me smile again, those words made me smile
If you like a situation or a thing you do but you know you are hurting yourself, is it then worth doing? I mean now it´s too late to go back, and I don´t want to have things undone but still, I´m hurting myself…is it worth it? But you always have to dare…you don´t have to get used to stuff (hate to be used to stuff) nor accept all that´s happening but you have to dare, dare to loose dare to jump and fall.
Accept…well, there are things in life you have to accept! Accept you made a choice even if it was the wrong one; and if was wrong, so what? Flush and move on. We can live in the future, I believe in that, but only as long as you plan and not only dream, we live today! Just see what we are doing right now! Not everyone dare to take that step, that special step out and dare to fall. You can´t live in nor on the things you have done…that’s my biggest task right now….to not live in my memories. I have to move on, I have to learn to accept and move on…live today, tomorrow but never ever yesterday. It won´t give you anything; sure we can say now it´s 2 days longer since I last saw you,yeah sure, but fuck hell, better to think now we are 2 days closer to the next time we´ll meet. You are today, live today…
My heart is broken, my heart has been broken for a few years now and I wish I could heal it. I wanna heal it, I wanna be able to give it away again, I wanna dare to loose. It´s not always about loosing, hiding or accepting, I believe it´s about existing.
We move on; what´s courage? I think courage is one thing for me and another for you my friend. It all depends on who uses it, and how…maybe for you courage is to travel alone to a country where you haven´t been before, or to speak infront of 200 persons….for me that´s not courage. For me courage is to show your feelings, remember what I wrote before about people not knowing me? Courage for me is to let people into my live. This moment I´m writing this I´m on my way to say goodbye to one of these persons I let into my life. I hurts me so much to know he´s leaving…I don´t wanna think about it but I can´t stop, maybe it´s better as Roxette sings (these dudes are my Gods…) tear it down and build it up. Sometimes it´s better to be sad, maybe it´s a sign of that those weeks means a lot to me? I hope so…
It´s good to be sad and it´s good to be depressed (in one way). To cry and scream can heal your heart...so scream and cry; the only thing you are NOT allowed to scream and cry about is the things you with your own force can change.
Great, now I made myself crazy sad...wellwell, that´s life. I better get going, last hours with my sun; I can´t stand him leaving...
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